Most professionals understand that effective behavior in a work setting is important. The real challenge is to show behaviors that align with you, your context and the goals you have. People will form an impression of you anyway, through the behaviors they observe, so the question becomes: how can we work with that and be more deliberate in what we show? Below are seven points to keep in mind.
1. Are you present?
Do you prepare or simply roll into meetings, and do you show up on time? Do you stay present in the conversation with real attention? If you are looking at a phone, staring out of a window, typing during a meeting or reading notes while someone is speaking, it can easily be noticed as a lack of attention. Do you truly listen when someone has something to say? Keep the conversation active by picking up on a specific point, responding to it and adding a question or next step so it does not lose direction.
2. What is your body language?
People continuously read your nonverbal behavior and use it to decide how to position themselves towards you. When you fidget, avoid eye contact or make yourself physically smaller, others may hesitate to rely on you or see you as confident. When you overcompensate with a raised voice, strong gestures or a dominant posture, people may withdraw. Balance is key: an upright posture, calm and deliberate gestures, steady eye contact and the ability to pause without filling the silence. Small signals, like nodding while someone explains something, encourage people to keep sharing their thoughts.
3. How do you treat others?
How you talk about others when they are not present is one of the strongest culture signals. If you regularly speak constructively about colleagues, you build trust. If you complain without addressing the issue directly with the person involved, people assume you might do the same to them. That also influences whether people feel safe to speak openly when you are in the room.
4. Are you all about work?
Are you only behind your computer, working and eating at your desk? Availability in informal moments is more important than you think. If you are consistently hard to reach or appear rushed, people may interpret that as disinterest. If you make yourself accessible in quick check-ins and hallway conversations and stay present in informal moments, such as a group outing or Friday drinks, others find it easier to involve you and connect with you.
5. Are you consistent?
If you say something is important, but your behavior shows otherwise, people follow the behavior. For example, saying “quality matters” but accepting rushed work sends a clear message. Do you do what you say? Sending that document, replying when you said you would, meeting a deadline. When this is consistent, it signals reliability. When it is inconsistent, people start adjusting their view of your trustworthiness. Over time, this determines whether others take your words at face value or wait to see what you actually do.
6. Do you ask questions?
When you ask questions, people see that you are engaged and actively trying to understand what is happening around you. They signal that you take other perspectives seriously, which strengthens collaboration. If you stay silent, others may interpret that as disinterest or assume you already think you have the answers. In many cases, silence is not seen as neutrality, but as a signal. It can create distance, as colleagues may be less likely to involve you in discussions or decisions.
7. How do you deal with feedback?
Two things matter in feedback: timing and clarity, in both giving and receiving. If you wait too long, people create their own story, and if you react too quickly, you respond before really understanding.
When giving feedback, stay close to what is observable and describe behavior and its effect. Your tone, eye contact and pace matter and a calm presence helps land the message while a sharp or rushed delivery triggers defense.
Receiving feedback is similar. If you interrupt or justify, people learn that it is not safe to be direct; listening, pausing and acknowledging show that input is welcome. A simple “thank you for raising that” sets the norm that feedback is taken seriously.
Awareness is key. Know who you are and show who you are. After all, “We are the total of our behavior and communication and the effect it has on others.” (My quote inspired by Carl Sagan: “We are the sum total of everything that has ever happened to us.”) This means being aware of your behavior in interactions and adjusting it if needed based on its effect on others. Because this effect influences how they respond to you.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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