At first glance, company culture seems to be shaped by mission statements, value posters or team-building retreats. But the truth is far simpler — and far more subtle. Culture is shaped by what leaders allow.
The phrase “what we permit, we promote” captures this perfectly. Whether intentionally or not, the behaviors we overlook are the ones that get repeated. Over time, they become the standard. As I explain in my new book, Leading in the Age of Digital Disruption, this quiet dynamic can make or break a company.
The hidden power of permission
In the book, I tell the story of Ethan, a fictionalized composite of many leaders that I’ve known. Ethan, the newly appointed CEO of Brightpath, inherits a fractured culture. Hybrid meetings lack energy. Trust is thin. Decisions are avoided or made by the loudest voice in the room. At first, it seems like a series of isolated problems. But as Ethan listens, observes and reflects, a deeper truth emerges: the executive team had unintentionally allowed disengagement, confusion and silence to take root.
No one said these behaviors were acceptable. But no one challenged them either. The result? Disengagement became the norm. Accountability slipped. Collaboration fractured.
Why? Because what we permit, we promote.
Common leadership blind spots
Leaders rarely set out to promote dysfunction. But by staying silent or looking the other way, they send a powerful signal. Here are a few examples:
Letting one person dominate every meeting teaches the team that hierarchy matters more than input.
Allowing toxic behavior from a high performer tells others that results matter more than values.
Failing to address missed deadlines or a lack of follow-through erodes clarity and undermines trust.
Over time, these unspoken allowances shape how people behave. And suddenly, a high-performing culture becomes a passive one.
Flipping the dynamic
When Ethan recognized this at Brightpath, he didn’t start with a corporate training program. He began by modeling new norms, out loud and in real time.
He acknowledged the team’s silence and named the problem directly.
He restructured meetings with a clear purpose, expectations and shared facilitation.
He reinforced that accountability and trust were not slogans, but standards, starting with himself.
By acting with transparency and consistency, Ethan and his team began to reset what was considered acceptable and expected—across the company.
Tools for leading with intentionality
If you’re in a leadership role, you’re already shaping culture — whether you realize it or not. Here are a few ways to do it more intentionally:
Ask yourself: What am I tolerating that I’d never put in the employee handbook?
Audit team dynamics: Who speaks the most in meetings? Who stays quiet? Why?
Model visibly: Be the first to ask a tough question, admit a mistake or give someone else the floor.
Signal expectations early: Don’t wait for a crisis to define your standards. Show them consistently through action.
What message is your silence sending?
Leadership isn’t just about what you do — it’s about what you allow. If you’re not actively reinforcing the behaviors you want to see, chances are you’re reinforcing something else without realizing it.
So take a look around. The culture you’re building may not be the one you intended, but it’s the one you’re permitting.
What are you promoting without even meaning to?
Every leader wants to create a culture of excellence, inclusion and accountability — but culture isn’t built in all-hands meetings or keynote speeches. It’s built in the daily moments: who gets heard, what gets ignored and how we respond when things go sideways. The most effective leaders aren’t just culture champions — they’re culture stewards. They understand that every decision, every silence, every exception sets a precedent. If you want a stronger culture, start by raising your awareness. Because the quiet choices you make today will echo loudly tomorrow.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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