We all face Monsters in our lives. Even if you don’t believe in them, they exist. Not under our beds, but under our skins. Inside our minds.
Monsters — as Suzy Burke, Ryan Berman and Rhett Power write in Headamentals: How Leaders Can Crack Negative Self-Talk — are the things we tell ourselves we cannot do. We call it negative self-talk. Here are some problems that arise when we get down on ourselves.
It can be imposter syndrome — the feeling that I don’t belong here, and therefore, I do not fit in.
It may be self-doubt. I just know I cannot do this job.
It may also be referred to as “self-handicapping.” Itemizing the skills you do not have versus those you possess.
One of the key insights of Headamentals is its recognition that negativity is an inherent part of the human psyche. In many ways, it is what protects us from danger — don’t touch a live wire. As such, it can be crippling — preventing us from achieving our goals.
Ta-da “The Maverick”
It’s our Maverick, the voice inside of us telling us that we can do what we set out to achieve. The challenge is to unleash the Maverick to slay the Monsters. And here are some ways to do it. At the beginning of the book, the authors post in large type,” Accept that Failure Is Part of the Learning Process.” We all know this intuitively, but so often dismiss it. Fortunately, the book highlights just how we can learn from our mistakes, overcome them and achieve our goals.
Catch it. Recognize the tripwires that trigger negative self-talk. These can include both physical and emotional reactions.
Confront it. Begin with, “Why am I thinking this?” Provide yourself with ammunition — facts and stories — that support your strengths in spite of the self-talk that may be dragging you down.
Change it. Own the situation. “I have had setbacks in the past.” And so, too, have you had successes. Self-confidence stems from building upon your past achievements. Know that you can persevere.
These are the basic steps that enable the reader to take stock but then take action.
Headamentals provides self-assessments to make the lessons of the book individually relevant and consequently actionable.
More than just you
Leaders who model the behaviors that reinforce the positive self, the Maverick, provide an example for those they lead, learn from their mistakes and overcome the Monsters that plague them.
The authors write, “Teach your team to be resilient in challenging situations. Normalizing a consistent mindfulness practice helps team members be more aware of their thought patterns. This will also help them stay calm and focused under pressure.” Integrating the concept of resilience is self-empowering. Resilience is a process of transformation. It begins with getting knocked down, and it ends with getting back up again, stronger and wiser. Such awareness creates a healthy dynamic that makes it safe to fail as well as even more encouraging to try again to succeed.
Yes, there are demons within us that cripple us, but as the authors stress, we have the power to address them, acknowledge them and act with positive intentions to create the future we want to live in.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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